Is it Possible to be too Authentic?

To be truly authentic is something that I've felt I've always wanted.

I want to be real. I want to be truthful, and not fake and easily swayed. I want others to feel safe around me, like they can trust me not to act different around them. Sometimes people change their opinions depending on what seems more socially appealing. I see people that seem to change all the time. One minute they're good and sweet around one group and then another minute later they seem to swiftly trade their dignity for something that looks more enjoyable as they totally change for another group. Like a shapeshifter, changing their ways to whatever they deem fits the occasion. I want to be solid in what I believe, and not swayed because I am afraid. But I am afraid. Afraid that I'll become a shapeshifter. Afraid that I am one. I don't want to alow myself to so easily be blown away by some fear of external judgement. I want to be free to be myself no mater what.

But sometimes the problem is that being myself feels like it means being stubborn, being clumsy, being embarrassing, being blunt, being unsure, and being afraid. I sometimes feel like if I were totally authenic and spoke what I really thought, then I could hurt some people's feelings.

People say that you see yourself differently then how others see you. But then a question arises. Who am I really? Am I always going to see a tinted, unreal version of myself? If so, how am I supposed to know how to really be myself? 

I don't know the answers fully to all of these questions, but I do know that when I'm doing what I love, and doing what helps me feel love, that is when I feel the most like me. Wether it's just sitting and laughing with friends, serving someone in need, watching Pirates of the Caribbean with my family, going to the Temple, sledding down a hill, eating a snickerdoodle cookie, or taking selfies with my baby sister. 

Those times, when I'm doing something that includes love, joy and peace, when I'm feeling the spirit, that's when I feel the most like me.

So maybe that's how we can be authentic, without being too blunt and hurting feelings. Love. Love of the good. Not the media definition of love, which is love for attention and selfish purposes... But the opposite. Love for others. Seeing the best in others and yourself, and being forgiving when mistakes happen. It's the love of all things right and true. The love that emerges when your serve and stick with your faith. We may call it different things, but I choose to call it charity; the love of God. That's authenticity to me.