The Wanderer

The Wanderer 

Every day a different place.

Everywhere a different face.

There's always somewhere else to go,

Always something else to waste.

Waves, they toss me back and forth.

Holding me back from the shore.

I fear a time that soon may come 

When I just can't take anymore. 

It wasn't easy leaving home.

Duty, dreams caused me to roam.

The steady ground I thought I had,

Ended up as wind-blown sand.

Across the sea, beyond the skies,

There is a place with no goodbyes.

As Wanderer, someday I'll find

That place, and leave my past behind. 

Each day I try to find my way,

But seem to drift farther away.

Watching softly as the starlit  night

Breaks into another unknown day.

Sitting upon the dock, I gaze,

Seeing the far horizon's haze.

What if it never turns to land.

What if it always stays the same?

But in the night, a silent voice

Whispered to my heart, a choice.

I felt in the the ocean spray 

It washed me clean and seemed to say

"That place you're always searching for

Is not so distant anymore.

Don't sail too far, live now instead."

"I still don't understand." I said.

"I'm afraid of the unknown

I fear being so alone,

So lost that not even the stars

Will light the way to bring me home."

"Trust in the stars, trust in the sea

And do you best to follow me."

The voice replied with greatest calm.

It was then that I began to see.

That place that I was searching for

I had already in my core

Inside my faith, inside my soul

It was my choice to become whole.

As Wanderer, I understand 

I have found my distant land

A place where there are no goodbyes

Only beginnings and new skies.

I'm afraid of "Perfection."

I'm not perfect. And I've struggled with thinking that I have to be. My religion believes that eventually, we can become Gods and that means that we can become perfect someday.  In fact, we are commanded to "Be ye therefore perfect." 
First of all, before I get too far, I wanted to make it clear that I'm not blaming my perfectionism on my religion. I'm only blaming myself for not seeking to understand it fully. But that's what I'm trying to do now.

This life is for learning and becoming better through Christ and about sharing His love with the world. He never made any mistakes, but I've come to realize that thinking that I should focus on avoiding failure at all costs, is a mockery of His atonement. Only Christ overcame sin and I've been trying too hard to do it all by myself. I've been thinking that I need to be a little less selfish and start trusting His plan for me. 

Yes we should try our best, yes we should do all that we can to be Christlike, but we should not paralyze ourselves because of our fear of failure. 

If all the great leaders of the past and present decided not to take the action and initiative that they did to influence the world just because they were afraid of messing up, then we would have a pretty sad world. 

My eternal, ultimate, eventual goal is perfection. But as I strive to get there, I also have a goal to except my fallible, mistake ridden, clumsy, human self. I need to learn to be ok with myself even when I mess things up, because that brings me one step closer to knowing what NOT to do in the future. 

I'm not saying that we should tolerate sin. We should try our best to avoid what we can, but as humans it is unavoidable. And when the unavoidable happens, it is more productive to think, "What can I learn from this?" And then move on, rather than beating ourselves up about what we did wrong, which is letting fear dominate our lives. 

Part of Faith is trusting Him enough to let His atonement work in our life.

“I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.

“Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things” (Alma 26:11–12).

What do you all think about this? Am I on the right track, or am I missing something?
Love you all ❤️ 

Thanks for your support.
(Here's a random pic of Joy and I embracing our inner goofy and glamorous selves ;) )